Story 11 Rewind: Adding Others to Keep Us Together (Written)
There are these moments in relationships, especially long-term relationships, where after many years of being together, it doesn’t feel like there’s much left to say. Where both the battles and monotony of everyday life have worn partners down until the energy for each other is depleted. In this week’s story, our couple seeks excitement and restorative refuge in the seductive company of others.
Primary Characters: Multiple female and male
Spice Level: 2
Written by: Danni
Quiet has settled into the house now that Tasha, Andre Jr., David, and their families have gone. My husband is using the bathroom before coming to bed. I’m ready to turn in and that is when Tasha’s back porch confession starts to weigh on me.
Earlier, while my granddaughter Alexis helped me warm up pies for Andre’s birthday dessert, I’d overheard Tasha and her husband, Sean. They whispered, but I could still hear them. I heard my daughter say, It wouldn’t have happened if you cared to look at me from time to time. Sean stormed off. I gave it a minute before walking outside to check on her. She leaned against the railing, smoking a cigarette; I can’t stand when she smokes so I knew she was really upset because she didn’t put it out when she saw me.
“Tay, do you wanna talk about it?”
“Ma, why is it so hard to get that man to fuck his wife?”
My mind was empty of answers. I listened to her relay the tensions in her marriage.
Lying here in bed, it’s all rushing at me in a stampede of memories. I was 28, and Andre had not yet turned 26. We’d been married seven years at that point. Andre Jr. was still breastfeeding, and the motions of domestic life dominated our every day.
One ordinary night, I asked Andre if he was happy. He said he wasn’t, that he felt hemmed in. We both felt that we were still young; much too young to be bitter or feel like we were missing out on life. I cannot remember which of us suggested it or if it took us long to come to an agreement. It’s been so long now that I guess it doesn’t matter, but Andre and I decided we would try sleeping with other people.
I remember sharing this decision with my girlfriend Sylvia. We told each other everything back then. She said her cousin and her husband tried it and were much happier for it. I suppose I had reached out to her cousin. In any case, the couple we found was named Clark and Lucille Jones. They phoned us first. The conversation made it feel real. I remember feeling both electrified and full of dread. Pregnancy, especially multiple pregnancies, leaves a woman feeling undesirable. My body was rounder, squishier. My nipples were larger and grew tough. Lucille was a mother, too, which gave me a measure of comfort.
The details are blurry. I remember they had a lovely garden out front. Everything took place in their finished basement. Clark was lankier than Andre and high-yellow. Lucille had an open face and smaller breasts than I did. We both had cellulite congregating on our thighs. None of this mattered when we were in the middle of things. Clark was huge. I was amazed that Lucille could find pleasure from it - ramming in and out of her. Watching her wide ass jiggle turned me on. Andre and I sat next to each other. His right hand was grinding against my clit while my left hand was moving up and down his erect penis.
It was downright indecent, and I loved it. We stayed there the entire weekend, not thinking about school bake sales, kitchen appliances, or arguments between siblings. We traded partners without jealousy or envy. Talking was almost exclusively done to communicate to our partner how much we were enjoying something or when we were about to come.
Andre and I ended up doing it again on multiple occasions - almost always with a different couple. I had completely forgotten about this until my conversation with Tay. It was such a long time ago, in a different world, one where young people held a looser notion of commitment and fidelity. I suppose I should have told my daughter that whenever Andre and I felt like we were sinking, we had sex with other people. It seems contradictory to say that what made me closer to my husband was seeing him fucking other women and having him see me fuck other men. It is the truth, however.
I cannot remember when we stopped, but at some point we did. I guess we no longer needed it. Marriage seemed more negotiable as another year passed and we kept fucking other people without shame or retribution. We had freedom in our relationship, an understanding, which made it easier to survive the death of parents, aging, financial setbacks, and all the typical challenges of marriage.
I’ll call Tay in the morning and see how she’s feeling. If I get the impression that she wants to work on things, I’ll tell her what helped her dad and me. I can only hope she’ll listen.