Watching Porn to Marry
Read time: 5 - 7 minutes
Today, we’re exploring behavioral factors and their influence on men’s desire to be married. This Discover Intimacy edition is based on the work of Samuel L. Perry in the article entitled “Does Low-Cost Sexual Gratification Make Men Less Eager to Marry? Pornography Use, Masturbation, Hookup Sex, and Desire to be Married Among Single Men,” published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior in July 2020.
Earlier Research and Conventional Wisdom
To start, there has been a substantive body of research - prior to the study that serves as the basis of today’s edition - concluding that men are less likely to marry due to the availability of “low-cost” sex options. Low-cost sex options refers to sexual activity in which the male participant is not obligated to make a substantial or meaningful commitment to obtain it. These previous studies refer specifically to pornography, masturbation and hookup sex (i.e. casual, uncommitted sex) as low-cost options. And, they’ve theorized that the ubiquity of these options make men less likely to marry.
An important item to note is that these previous studies are based on the cultural belief that men desire sex more than women. And, in their desire for sex, men are less likely to engage in committed relationships, including marriage, when they are able to fulfill those desires in the absence of commitment. These are the cultural beliefs.
Taking these cultural beliefs as the basis of their work, previous research has stated that the rise of low-cost sex options has in turn decreased the likelihood of commitment and made men less desirous of marriage.
Perhaps, you don’t agree with the premise of these cultural beliefs. Are men in fact more desiring of sex than women? Previous studies have indicated that yes, men are generally more desirous of sex than women. However, as researchers keep exploring this question over time, the desire gap between men and women narrows, suggesting that some of the cultural and socialization factors that have and still do impact a woman’s desire for sex, are evolving and women’s desire – or their willingness to communicate that desire – is evolving as well.
Regardless of biology, culture and/or socialization, the belief that men desire sex more than women, “has led some scholars to apply an exchange model to understand men’s and women’s relationships, viewing sex as a form of ‘erotic capital’ that women can exploit.”
Ever heard the age-old saying, ‘Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’ That saying encapsulates the premise of erotic capital – the idea that men, in their desire for sex, will engage in committed relationships to get it and should they get it in the absence of a committed relationship, there is no longer a need for them to commit.
One prior study “estimated somewhere between 9% and 15% of unmarried men are ‘at least temporarily’ no longer pursuing committed romantic relationships because of pornography use.”
This Study’s Purpose
For the purpose of this study, covered in this edition, the author sought to understand if in fact men are less desiring of marriage due to their participation in low-cost sex options – pornography, masturbation and hookup sex. Were these previous studies correct in their theories, estimations and conclusions? And if so, to what extent?
The Method
Using data from 1,751 single, never-married men, the author sought answers. Participants were asked a series of questions in the following categories.
Desire for Marriage: Participants were asked, “Would you prefer to be married?”
Hookup Behavior: Participants were asked about the frequency of recent sex and if they are romantically involved with someone.
Pornography Viewing: Participants were asked about the recency and frequency of viewing pornography.
Masturbation Behavior: Participants were asked about the recency of masturbation.
Sexual Satisfaction (or lack thereof): Participants were asked, “Are you content with the amount of sex you are having?”
The author implemented control variables for factors like age, income, religious affiliation and if the participant believes marriage is an outdated institution (because presumably those who don’t believe in marriage as an institution will not be desirous of marriage regardless of low-cost sex option availability).
Note: The findings in this study are largely based on heterosexual men. The previously referenced prior studies were largely based on heterosexual men as well, serving as a method of comparison for the author's findings.
What we learn about men and those low-cost options...
Men who reported contentment with their sex lives or desired less sex were less likely to want marriage, while those who were dissatisfied and wanted more sex were more likely to desire marriage. This factor was significant as men who were dissatisfied with their sex lives were three times as likely to want marriage than men who were content with their sex lives.
When looking at low-cost sex behaviors, the author determined that the correlation between hookup sex and masturbation and desire for marriage was non-significant. Meaning, there was no evidence that participating in either behavior makes men less desirous of marriage.
On Porn Specifically
Pornography viewing yielded particularly interesting results. There was a positive correlation between pornography viewing and desire for marriage. Meaning, pornography viewing is a significant, positive predictor of desire for marriage.
Keeping in mind that participants who express dissatisfaction with their sex lives are more likely to desire marriage, it would stand to reason that those same sexually dissatisfied men view pornography and further, “it could be that pornography use simply does not provide an alternative to committed romantic relationships as some [previous researchers] propose.”
“To nuance the ‘low-cost sexual gratification’ thesis, perhaps pornography, in particular does not replace committed, romantic relationships, but stimulates a desire for a committed relationship in which sex would be more consistently available.”
In short, porn wets many things - including a man's appetite for marriage.
Depending upon your perspectives on marriage, men, porn, masturbation and hookup sex, the author’s findings may be reassuring or problematic. What we have learned from this study is that the conventional wisdom on this topic is complex, nuanced and may not truly represent how men are thinking and feeling about that trip down the aisle.
Thank you for reading this week’s edition of Discover Intimacy! We hope you enjoyed this edition and your sexual intellect was delightfully awakened.
Sources
Journal: Archives of Sexual Behavior
Article: Does Low-Cost Sexual Gratification Make Men Less Eager to Marry? Pornography Use, Masturbation, Hookup Sex, and Desire to be Married Among Single Men
Author: Samuel L. Perry
Date Published: July 2020